You are worthy of self-love and acceptance
You are worthy of self-love and acceptance
You are worthy of self-love and acceptance.
And so am I.
And it’s something worth working on. I promise.
Because you can lose all the weight you want, or gain all the muscle you want, or have 18 abs, and it WON'T MATTER UNLESS YOU LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF.
Sure, this is easier said than done.
Take it from someone who has had the abs they wanted, and believed that that would solve all the self-love problems, and STILL had trouble accepting themselves (hello, it’s me!)…
How can we do this?
How do we love and accept ourselves?
Here’s the biggest answer that comes to me:
Monitor your self talk.
As humans, we tend to think the worst of ourselves. We say things in our minds that we’d never say to another person. We are capable of analyzing every stretch mark, or pimple, or little bald spot, or spot of cellulite, etc. And also think that every other person around us is noticing those same things about us and judging us for them, while they probably aren’t.
Here’s the important question…
*Would you say what you’re thinking about yourself/your body to your best friend?*
Likely not.
Is it constructive to demean your efforts because you still have some cellulite on the backs of your legs?! NO.
Would you point out the cellulite on someone else?! Likely not.
Would you tell someone else they shouldn’t be wearing that bikini? Again, likely not.
In fact, we typically tend to celebrate the efforts and boldness of others and still think we’re not worthy of that same celebration ourselves.
Where does this self-deprecation come from??
I imagine it stems from comparison to hot models, or body builders, or celebrities, or friends or the like. And it’s just not fair.
So, what do we do?
We need to RELENTLESSLY remind ourselves of our worth, the value of our efforts (even if they’re not perfect), and focus on what we are each trying to achieve without comparison to what other people are doing or what they may look like.
I recommend develop mantras or grounding statements that resonate with each of us that can help recenter us when these critical thoughts come up.
After you decide that you wouldn’t say those same thoughts to a friend, bring your mantas to mind to allow yourself to celebrate and focus on YOU.
These mantas could be things like:
I am worthy.
I love myself.
I love my body.
I appreciate me and my efforts.
I focus on me.
I am strong and beautiful.
I am strong.
I accept everything about me.
I am Beyonce. (Okay, that’s one of mine… because she’s a powerful, badass woman who’s plenty juicy, and has a little cellulite, and has had babies, and shows it off confidently all the time and I love it and want to emulate those vibes!)
Along these lines, make sure that the things you’re working on are actually things that YOU care about and that you’re not just doing things because of any social ideals or outside influences.
To be honest, this whole idea will take work. We’ll probably have to work on these things every day forever, but it’s important to stay focused on you and your priorities and how you feel about yourself.
With this all being said, I do not imagine that the answer to this “worthiness” question is to NOT care at all.
Not caring at all can make it difficult to focus on the things you DO want to achieve. But caring less about the opinions of others may be helpful.
In fact, remembering that you have ZERO responsibility for, or impact on, what other people think can be empowering.
You are worthy regardless of what other people think.
Your goals are valid.
Your experiences are real.
Your stretch marks don’t make you who you are. (I also invite you to refer to them as “tiger stripes” moving forward… This shift helped me change the idea behind them and now they’re powerful indicators of everything me and my body have experienced! Thanks for the reframe, Jarrod!)
You are worthy of self-love and acceptance.
And so am I.
xoxo,
Sara